Do you remember...

Looking at my son I am reminded of my 31 years of age. It seems like yesterday I was 16 and had the world in front of me. It seems like yesterday I was having a joint birthday party with my sister. So many memories..some of joy and some of pain. I know so much more now that I am older that I wish I had know back then.

Lately I have been haunted by the mistakes of my past. It could be anything from a conversation I wished I wouldn't have had to a decision I thought was the right thing to do at the time. Looking back I regret not being closer with my sister when we were under the same roof. Looking back I wished I had spent more time with my mom instead of a boyfriend. Its hard for me to let go of some of these things. I feel so stupid and sad that I missed out on opportunities that I will never get back. The only thing that helps me heal from these is knowing who I am now and taking the opportunities as they come my way now.

Yesterday is gone, today is passing by and tomorrow is upon me. I will take the time today to love God, my family, and the people that mean the most. I will take the time now to strive for what is best, do what is important, and make memories I can gladly look back on with no regrets.

Praise God for the journey we get to take in our lives. Through the pain, the regret, and the heartache comes joy, praise, and amazement for His Love, His lessons, and His Grace. To God be the Glory.

Almost a year ago....

Almost a year ago my son was born. I am in disbelief that the time has flown by so very quickly. To think that he will be a year old, a toddler, walking and who knows what else blows my mind. I used to think that I would never get married and never have kids. Yet here I am almost 4 years into marriage with a one year old. Silas is such a joy in my life. He makes me laugh, cry, get frustrated, and so much more all in one day. Each day he grows stronger, more independent, and more hilarious.

In the summer of 2008 when Doug and I found out about Silas it was a shocker. We had heard we wouldn't be able to get pregnant and then I had to have surgery when I was four weeks along. To know that early, to have surgery, to have so much uncertainty about his future made me trust in the Lord for strength and guidance. Every week we would get an ultrasound and see that tiny body keep growing and growing. Then...he was here! He came a whole lot earlier than we had expected...about 3 weeks to be exact. And the fun begin. We haven't stopped having fun.

These days Silas loves to play with his cars, his books, his shapes and his Elmo toys. We crawl around the floor and laugh with him. What a joy his laugh bring!!! I find myself being silly just to get him to smile for me.

What a year! I have heard it goes fast. I want to cherish every single day and moment that I have with him. I am looking forward to another year of 1st, joy, laughter, frustration, and so many other wonderful things he brings to my life.

Happy Birthday bubby!!!